Mondays...

...how I hate them! They give me the blues and I dont even know why. I know what you are thinking and you only have my words to believe that it couldnt be further away from the truth. I dont get up early in the morning to go to a 8 to 5 job from Monday to Friday so that by the end of the week I am totally exhausted which in turn motivates me to have a blast of a time during the weekend...only to be really depressed when its time to face the demands of a new week.
I sleep 10hrs a day, dont exactly exhaust myself working, my advisor is very cool and he lets me work according to my schedule, I attend social gatherings at a fair regularity and also indulge in good amount of sports.
Yet...I feel so blase!
One of the primary reasons I feel is the lack of above mentioned strict time based work ethic...I have this feeling that it would be really nice if I had the attitude of working hard from 8 to 5 and then totally forgetting about work for the rest of the day. I could so enjoy whatever I am doing in the latter part of the day. Right now, theres always that feeling of unrest in me...a feeling that I could have done some more (or as on some days...a feeling that I should have done atleast some work) which I THINK is preventing me from being completely refreshed and yearning to get some work done!
One train of thought that Ive had is that I feel the root of all my problems is my clear lack of self-motivation to do research (work for me). I know people who have a burning passion for the work that they do...almost all my professors and a good number of my colleagues belong to this category. They get up in the morning with an enthusiasm to do research. Like people say, "Love your work and you wont have to work a single day of your life"...These guys dont work! Maybe I should clarify, I do enjoy what I am doing. EMW rocks and Id rather be in this than any other field. Whatever little research I do I really have fun doing it. My problem is to 'begin' to do it. I always keep putting off reading a paper but once I force myself into doing it I find I enjoy it a lot and finish it at a satisfactory pace. But then its time to start something new and it takes me about 2-3 days to start working properly again!
All this has made me conclude that Im not cut-out for a PhD for sure! I just hope circumstances dont force me into it.
I feel like I am at a point in my life where I need to travel the world and see places and meet people. Id like to think of it as a soul-searching expedition but maybe Im just trying to give the sloth in me a nice name. :)
Hmmm....So why do I hate mondays? I can think of no particular reason expect that I have my weekly presentations on this day and it sort puts me to work on a sunday evening and also takes up a good part of monday and not-to-mention the exhausting presentation of our entire group from 3 to 6pm. Incidentally I had interrupted this writing to attend to my presentation today!

Everything Ive said above holds for me on any given day during this phase of my life...but truth be told, today I have an additional more personal reason to feel blue!
Cant decide how to end ...so heres an old joke!

One Atom to another: Hey buddy...whats with the sad face?
Atom 2: I think I've lost an electron.
Atom 1: Are you sure?
Atom 2: Im positive!