Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Infinite Sadness

Slouching in my chair I looked around a little bored in the darkened room. The light reflecting off the projector wall illuminated the faces of my advisor, my department chair and 6 others who were sitting and listening intently. Stifling a yawn that was forcing its way out, thanks to only 2 hours of sleep the previous night I tried hard to concentrate on what the guy standing next to the screen and pointing at it was trying to say. Weekly research meetings and I have a love-hate relationship. This week was filled with hate. I was going to present my work (90% of which was done only the previous night) after everyone else. That normally meant a waiting time of about 21/2 to 3 hours. I looked at my watch...3:45pm. Damn! I still had a couple of hours to kill. I tried to put the numbers and the yawns behind me and listen to what this guy had to say. I tried to judge how much work he had actually done that week and how hard was he trying to show it off as a week’s worth! The things I do to keep myself amused!

Like every other week I sat facing the door to this big room. Bless this strategic positioning; I could see her walk by. She is a beautiful girl. She works in the same building and is a friend of mine. She drops by my workstation once or twice a week for a quick chat. She has a beautiful smile. But today she seemed sad. In the couple of seconds that I noticed her walk by that room I could see she was in deep contemplation. There were definite traces of sadness in her eyes. And yet she seemed more beautiful than ever. Her drooping eyes with those large lashes, the hair tucked behind her ears and her gaze on the floor as she went past me painted the picture of the most gorgeous thing that Ive laid my eyes upon. I’ve often heard about there being a certain beauty in melancholy. Today I have seen it myself. The irony of those two simple seconds isn’t lost on me. Just a glimpse of her sadness has filled me with bliss for a much longer time.


I wish I was better with my words so that the world can better understand what I felt.
I wish I was a painter so as to at least make an attempt at capturing this on sketch.
I wish I was a songwriter so that I could maybe write a song about this.
I wish that someday I could tell her how captivating she looked to me for just those 2 seconds.

But mostly......I wish I could see that sad yet divine face of hers once again.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Run, rabbit run!

Vincent(Ethan Hawke): A year is a long time.
Irene(Uma Thurman): Not so long. Just once around the sun.

The best two lines from Gattaca that echo my feelings.

Its been exactly one year since I had landed in the US (on August 16th 2004) and I cant even remember how time just went by. The funny thing is that I still am so caught up with life’s pace that if it had not been for a very sweet mail from a very close friend of mine telling me how it has been a year since I left, I wouldn’t have stopped to take a moment and make this entry. No matter how insignificant this might seem, this entry is dedicated to her. So P, this ones for you. :)

Though its just one trip round the sun, a year truly is long enough to do a lot and learn a lot. A wise man once said “You never know what you think until you put it down in writing”. Just to prove this particular wise man right and also for some fun reminiscing I hit upon the idea of putting down all the significant things about the past year. Lets see now...

1) My exposure to research in the true sense of the word: This is without a doubt one of the most important things that Ive gone through in the past year. Me in undergrad and research were two diametrically opposite concepts. It was very important for me to do proper research for 2 main reasons,
A) I was getting paid for it and it was ethically wrong to slacken
B) I had to know if I was cut-out for a PhD.
In hindsight I think I could definitely have worked twice as hard and who knows maybe it would have yielded more fruitful results. I did go for a conference too, but again in all honesty that was just pure luck. Although I have now promised myself to work harder I am convinced that a career in research is something that doesn’t come naturally to me. But fate it seems is not without a sense of irony!

2) My December and July vacations: All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy! So what should Jack do? Take a vacation at the end of every semester :). These two trips have been filled with amazing fun. There’s nothing better than catching up with good old friends and hanging out. These trips are something that Ill cherish for a long time for many many reasons and if it had not been for them I would probably have been filled with self pity thinking I have been working too hard only to get stuck in a non-productive hole!!

3) My new friends: Everyone I met here from my seniors to my roommates to my other friends (desi and international) have been as great as anyone can be and I couldn’t have asked for better companionship! Still, old is gold! :)

4) My India Association Presidency: This has a lot more significance to me than I let people realize. Although I held a few organizational posts during my undergrad, nothing compares to the magnitude of responsibility and tasks that I had undertaken as the president of the India Association here at Olemiss. I learnt a great many things about how to deal with people, when to make a stand and stay firm in your beliefs, how to deal with extreme criticism, the importance of delegation, the qualities that make a good leader...what not. This was truly a very important learning experience and though it did harm me a little bit from an academic stand point I don’t have any regrets. In fact my tenure is going to finish in a month but I have bigger things lined up. I am going to be working for our Grad Student Council in quite a responsible position but this time I have promised myself that I’m going to be smarter than I was in prioritizing this with my acads.

5) Wakarusa: Very recently I read a James Hetfield quote, “Id rather regret doing something than not doing it”. Something like this being said by none other than the MetallicA frontman was nothing short of exhilarating for me. Life is about experiences and Wakarusa was a freaky one. One of the most significant for sure, in spite of being not very socially acceptable. ;)


6) My failed love-life: Although I don’t admit this often, this past year has been quite a failure in terms of wooing women! I failed TWICE! The first time was a simple crush and it ended pretty soon. I was blunt and she was blunt. In hindsight I don’t really regret this cuz it really was what I knew it was, an infatuation that surely would go away...and it was never meant to be. The second time was with someone I really thought was meant to work out. I never knew her well and I still don’t…but it was one of those gut feelings that make you think she’s perfect. This time I was more careful…no bluntness…I tried to be subtle. But the ‘negative’ force was strong in her! ;)
Maybe I need to take some wooing lessons!

7) A new country: Last but definitely not the least…this is more of an all encompassing experience. Life in a new place is by default exciting and the US is no different. The different lifestyles, viewpoints, stereotypes...everything is both frustrating and fun but nevertheless fresh . Unfortunately, words expressing my feelings about this fail me at this point so Ill just say that one thing that surely rocks about the US is the centralized air-conditioning in just about every building you walk into. Such bliss! :P
Something more meaningful maybe some other time.

Spent a good one hour typing all this…but re-reading makes it seem very silly! Still Ill let them be! Maybe a year later Ill make another entry...wondering what new stuff Ill put down then!
Until l8r

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Mutton Curry by Golu Da Chef

The following is a rare recipe for mutton curry that has been typed out by Golu Da Chef himself. Information like this is normally confined to only some esteemed mailing list and for the first time this bootleg is being thrown out to the public!

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I am not sure if one marinates mutton like they do to
chicken. But if they do then first make a batter out of curd, chili
powder, salt, some chicken masala powder and spices that u feel will
make the thing taste better. Put the mutton in this batter for some
time...like an hr.

In the meanwhile, either dice onions to very small size ...or i wud
suggest just dump them into the mixie and get onion paste. Ek pan main
oil daal and heat the oil for like 10-20s. Then put the onion paste
and put the flame on low-medium. Remember never cook food on high
flame...else khaana doesnt cook well. Keep stirring the onion now and
then and u will get a brownish feel in like 5-10min...depending on how
much oil u had put. The more oil..the faster it cooks...but the fatter
it makes u :D. So after the onion gets brown...put tomato puree and
stir well....so that the overall mixture becomes thick (if u have
ginger garlic paste....put along with onion paste). THen add salt,
chilli, dhania powder as u wish and let this gravy cook on slow flame.
Keep stirring every 2 min...aur beech main check karte rahe if u think
the gravy is ok. Once it is done...put the mutton in the gravy and
acchi tarah mix kar so that the gravy fights to get into the mutton
and then continue on slow flame. Cover the pan for about 5 min. Go
hillalo, come back open the pan's lid and
....swaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadisht :D
...swaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadisht :D

waise u can substitute mutton by any thing (then no need to marinate
also)...stuff such as aloo, peas, eggs, cauliflower...anything can be
made in the same sauce.
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Apologies to G for stealing his idea of posting e-mails :P