The Chinese take out place next to my house is better than the one next to yours

I will tell you why.
A classy 2009 calendar filled with bikini clad Asians!
I mean, is there really a better way to show appreciation for being a regular customer?

This place is awesome.
First, I get large tasty portions of pepper beef with steamed rice for only $6.25. And now I can hang pictures of almost naked women all over my room and look at them whenever I need to know the date or feel like eating Chinese. Talk about one stop shop for all your hungers! Plus, who can put a price on all the knowledge I get from the fortune cookies? Confucius says “The answer is a deep fried NO my friend”!
Can you feel the holiday spirit sautéed in schezwan sauce and served with an egg roll of mild arousal?

The lady who gave me this first grinned widely almost winking as if to say, “I know what you are really going to use this for” and then immediately sheepishly asked me “Oh…you are not married right?” I think you got the order of those reactions wrong ma’m! Nevertheless, I am thinking of taping this right onto my ceiling so that it is the first thing that I look at when I open my eyes in the morning. Anything else would kill the Christmas spirit!