I am not really a fan of memes. Or at least I’ve never come across one which was interesting to me (except the 55-word story one). I can hear the words ‘sour-grapes’ screaming in your head but you only have my words to believe when I say I couldn’t care less. As a blog-ninja ( :D...ok...sorry) I have traveled reasonably far and wide in the blog world and have come across many memes and formed an honorable opinion about them. So IMHO, while some memes happen to be plain boring which hold absolutely no interest to any reader whosoever (eg/: The google image search result, n-th line from some m-th post) many others happen to make an attempt to bring out the blogger’s personality traits (eg/: Fav books, Fav movies, Weird habits etc) which from my point of view are boring too.
This can possibly mean two things:
1) Almost everyone who posts memes fails to make them across my threshold of being interesting (possibly because I put my thresholds right opposite to where I keep my chances of having a threesome with Angelina Jolie and Sienna Miller) OR
2) I am a totally unsophisticated person who isn’t even half as intellectual as a majority of the rest of the world is in order to appreciate their interests.
I am perfectly willing to accept any of the above two as the hard-core undeniable fact.
So yeah, I don’t really enjoy reading memes.
But that doesn’t mean I am going to be an uppity arse about it (just a normal one is good enuff I guess!). I am perfectly willing to play along, all the more because I know there are many things I find to be mind-bogglingly fun to do but others might think they befit the behaviour of person with a room temperature IQ (measured in Celsius that too!!)
The universe tends towards a balance you see.
Thus...
If I were Romeo, my Juliet would be...
If I were Majnoo, my Laila would be...
If I were Anakin, my Padme would be...
If I were King Kong, my Naomi Watts would be...
If I were Golu, my Jenna Jameson would be...
...some one with the following qualities:
Qualities listed are neither permanent nor in any particular order. Depending on the vagaries of my mood, the position of Pluto (the dog) and the size of Ashlee Simpson’s breasts I can rearrange them or even discard/replace them (the qualities I mean :P).
1) She should be totally totally smokin hot. I know I am not Adonis personified or anything even remotely like that but I wouldn’t believe anyone who didn’t wish for a really hot lover irrespective of their own hotness rating. And as long as I am jotting down qualities of my perfect lover, what’s wrong in hoping for the best eh?
2) She should have a bunch of equally hot or hotter friends and she shouldn’t have any feelings of jealousy when I practice my moves on them.
3) She should worship Metallica. I am willing to bend this rule so that one could replace the word ‘worship’ with ‘love’ or (incase she over-qualifies regarding point 1) even ‘really like’. But nothing below that!
4) When I say, “Honey...guess what I brought home today! A leather strap and some handcuffs” she should have a naughty twinkle in her eye and must drag me towards our bedroom immediately. She must NOT look like Marlon Brando and say “The horror, the horror” and run away. In other words, she must be open to experimentation.
5) In particular she must also be willing to [The Google Blogspot Administrators team has decided to censor these particular lines in order to protect the innocence of the kids who might accidentally wander to this blog and read this post. Rohit Sammeta...you have a filthy and pathetic mind and we hope you rot in hell! And yes...we are watching...BITCH! ]
6) She should not be a crazed religious person. I don’t care which religion she practices...as long as she knows there is only one God...ME.
7) And just because I want to stress on this I shall reiterate...she has to be smokin hot! On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being the corpse from ‘Corpse Bride’ and 10 being Sienna Miller, she has to be a 10! Cuz I’d really like to go out with you Sienna...that Jude dude is a total fucking jerk. Go out with me and Ill never cheat on you with our nanny...maybe others but not with our nanny...I swear!
8) And finally, in case we decide to get married she should be open-minded enough to pay me a large dowry.
Phew...I finally did it! It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I really hope there is someone out there who fits these qualities (with the liberty of not qualifying for either one of the points 1 and 7). If that someone is reading this, know that I am the perfect guy for you. Make haste and get in touch with me.
And I will give you those things, you thought unreal.
The sun, the moon, the stars all bear my seal.
See how hot Sienna is...someone find her for me!
13 comments:
Google Blogspot Admins are fornicating pusillanimous people!
lol are u serious ... did the admins really strike ???
waise i thought u just wanted a drum kit for dowry
also im not fond of jenna jameson...maybe stephanie swift or jenteal or janine :D
Oh...really sorry about that Golu. DO you want me to change the name in the post? If so...which of the 3?
And yeah...I do want a complete drum kit as my dowry. :D
bastard i just realised that in all the analogies u gave (Except for anakin) everybody died without getting their babe
Lol! Normally, I would be pissed with the attitude that guys have these days and the things they desire, but well...this post just made me laugh!
That's quite a compliment Pooja. Thanks :)
Thank god for this post. Really, I mean it! You saved me from a whole process of getting rejected. I didn't mean to comment intially, but would love to see your reaction. I actually found you in a matrimony website. I tracked you down in the web and started stalking you here. First impression SENSIBLE and BOLD...I like it. But your requirements are way too high. Again, thank god(not YOU)for the post. Now I can only follow you as a good blogger and not have any expectations. I feel a lot relieved!
Haha...I want to know what bothered you so much? :)
Heheh, nothing bothered me a lot. Infact it's good that you are frank. Most men wouldn't dare to speak out their thoughts though they have all the same requirements/fantasies(and I'm not criticizing that fact). I'm just glad I saw the blog before I went ahead to express interest in the match. It's just that I would barely get 0.1/10 points on your scale. Trust me, I'm being rather liberal on rating myself. It's not been long that I've started searching for the Mr.Right guy on these sites but I'm already tired of the search. All the interesting guys have high expectations. I guess my expectations are high too. Anyways, Happy Holidays!
I can't believe you call my sincere thoughts fantasies! Tsk Tsk!
I am curious though...what are your (admittedly high) expectations??
Well Ro, let me put some points down. I want a sensible person with a good heart. He should be able to think for himself and make wise decisions. He should be willing to help others or atleast help himself by being a responsible human. I plan to go for a Phd at some point in life, so either he should have a Phd or should be broad minded and not have a problem with his wife having a higher degree than he does. He should be passionate about whatever he does, doesn't matter what (unless they involve weapons/bones/girls :P). He should also understand that his wife would also have a similar passion for what she does. I don't want to throw all these years of learning into drain and just keep cooking and cleaning after the guy. I love cooking and taking care but he should be willing to share responsibilities. I would love if he has a family that would consider me as one of their own. He should respect others irrespective of sex, age, racial or economic background. He should be broad minded, non judgemental and tolerant. Preferably he should like music and watching movies. Would love if the guy has a good sense of humor. I like to be involved in intelligent (not nerdy) conversations once in a while and just enjoy being silly when we feel like. I guess I am going for 'not be uptight'. Too idealistic people scare me. Lastly, shouldn't expect dowry. I don't understand why should parents give their hard earned money to sometime who is willing to spend his life with their daughter (unless she is crazy and bites people). Oh yea, I forgot to mention...if he is looking for a good looking girl, I not the girl for him. Aren't all these a little too high expectations?
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