Ro Thorpe…a legend in the making!

Not many readers are familiar with Ro Thorpe. He is a quiet, unassuming person who hasn’t really climbed the Mount Everest of stardom…well maybe the ‘sameer’ of stardom but that’s pushing it too! Yet we bring to you something that he has accomplished only a few days back...something that’s not outstanding yet worth mentioning, something that won’t get him laid yet maybe win a few make-out sessions with the chics. Are you on your edge of your seat waiting to find out what did he do? No? Good. Cuz before we divulge that lets look into some historical facts about him.

Ro Thorpe was originally called Ro Cannot-swim-even-if-my-balls-depended-on-it. His swimming skills were limited to swimming underwater in 3ft depth and drowning and being rescued. After facing a lot of mental trauma due to his painfully long surname and his limited aquatic skill-set he decided to take matters into his own hands (Hyuk Hyuk :D ’matters into his own hands’ Get it? Hee hee) He joined a swimming camp a year ago and in the final end-of-camp swim session he finished a triumphant 3rd. Well it’s a insignificant thing that his coach had asked everyone in the water not to race. So in a competition in which no one else was competing, Ro came in 3rd. What can beat that? A lot of things I guess! So neway that was when he changed his misnomer surname to the then swimming rage ‘Thorpe’. Realizing that speed wasn’t his forte he shifted focus to jumping off diving boards. “Why?”, you might say. “Why not?”, he would reply and then climb atop the 15ft high diving board and gracefully take off and not-so-gracefully land in the water!
Very soon he realized that his skills weren’t receiving the proper attention he deserved in his home country of India. So he shifted base to the United States, where he got ‘F-ed in the A’ real bad (not literally...no no..just swimming wise). People were swimming 3 times as fast as him. Yet, the more severe competition and the really really hot lifeguard chics kept him going and a few days back he crossed a major milestone in his life aquatic (that movie sucks btw)!

“So what don’t you just tell us what he did!” you might impatiently say.
To which I would reply “I already told you. Re-read the previous line.”
............major milestone in.......


He swam a mile!
A whole freaking mile...1.6kms!
36 laps!


Without much ado lets grab a large bag of oatmeal and hear everything we need to know from the horse’s mouth.

SE: So Ro, How does it feel to be able to swim a mile?
Ro: It feels great man...except that my elbow hurts like hell now and I have a terrible cold to go with it and Ive been sick for the past week. Apart from these it feels great!

SE: So did you do it in under 4 minutes or something like that?
Ro: Huh! No way dude...all I managed was 36 laps in maybe about 75-80 minutes. I am not trying to be the Roger Bannister of the pool or something like that...and I don’t think I can even if I wanted to, so I’m quite happy with my slow pace! Swimming is tiring man and it requires a lot more will-power to keep going than long distance running does.

SE: Yeah I guess doing a mile at a stretch can be quite a task!
Ro: Hmmmm...actually...I didn’t do it in a stretch either. I took my breaks whenever I felt like I needed them. I was swimming with a friend and we kept chatting quite often in between and checking out the hot lifeguard chics!

SE: Then do you honestly believe doing 36 laps in your own sweet time, with all the breaks you need is a big deal...I mean a lot of people out there could have easily done that right?
Ro: Well yeah, but I think its good to make a big deal out of it...it keeps one inspired and helps inspire others! Besides, I think you should make a big deal out of everything just for the sake of fun! (grins)

SE: Ok...so are any of the hot lifeguard chics hitting on you now?
Ro: Unfortunately no! But I hope the situation improves in the later stages when after finishing a mile I walk away looking cool instead of looking like a 50-year old slowly making his way towards the lockers with a painful expression on his face!

SE: So u didn’t break any records, you didn’t get any girls…then what’s the point of all this?
Ro: (‘what a bastard this guy is’ kind of look) Well...I would say...fun!

SE: Fun?...hmmm...ok...whatever...finally, what’s in the future for you?
Ro: Well...swimming and hopefully some more swimming. Let’s see where I go this time. And to all my fans out there (Ed: Fans?) keep up the good work people. And if its not the good work, stop doing it!(stupid grin again) Until later.
Peace everyone!
Love -RT


That’s it folks. U’ve read everything there was to read about this. Remember, here is a legend in the making. But thats going to happen after a long long time...so for now go home and chill [in the pool ;)]

Sam Etaro
J.V.V.E
Journalist Very Very Extraordinaire