God to take on the Flying Spaghetti Monster in epic World Wrestling Federation championship match up

In what is being touted as the mother of all fights, defending champion God is said to fight the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) who stands to challenge him for the title of creator and ruler of the universe at the Mirage hotel in Las Vegas this Saturday. Hailing from the heavens above, God has held the title since time immemorial, successfully defending it from a slew of notable challengers like the Buddha (who defaulted citing reasons of non-violence), Mohammed, the 30 million tag team members of the Hindu Federation and even the Beatles (in a memorial match up that lasted for a decade).

Thanks to popular moves like the “Smiting Finger”, “Eternal Damnation” and the “Banishing Helbow” God’s fan base is much larger than that of the FSM’s which nevertheless has been growing steadily. Some supporters of God believe that FSM is nothing more than a paper-tiger opponent conjured by God-haters who need someone to act as their beacon in the demanding wrestling world. The monsters’ proponents however are dismissive of these skeptics and are confident that they will be able to steal a victory with the help of FSM’s popular moves like the “Punch of Sarcasm” and the “Carb-Overload”.

Like in every other behemoth of an event, the taunts have been pouring in from both sides. In what has been widely regarded as an absolutely atrocious pun, the FSM claimed that he was going to make God ‘omni-pain-tent’! God however did not do much better when he retorted with “that FSM motherfucker ain’t got nothing on me, except some marinara sauce”. Fans on both sides are eagerly waiting to see who wins this epic battle and which side will have to resort to cognitive dissonance.

Sam Etaro
Massive Onion Rip-Off Artist (But Not As Funny)