Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
The curious girl
Gather around kids. It's anecdote time.
4 years ago during the fall of 2005, I was a bright eyed young lad bristling with FOB-ness amongst fellow FOBs (FOB=Fresh Off the Boat). I had come to the land of the free and home of the brave just a year ago and did not have a driver's license yet. As is the case with every small town in the USA one needs a car to get around and therefore one needs a driver's license to even begin thinking about borrowing a friend's car under the pretext of going out to buy some groceries but surreptitiously taking a girl out which may or may not have ended badly. Yes...yes...that is a story for another day.
So anyway, in order to obtain the aforementioned driving license, two of my buddies and I stayed up all night studying for the test (the written one for the learner's permit and not the driving one for the driver's permit) and went to the local DMV the next morning. As the three of us stood in line trying to remember whether the state highway speed limit in Mississippi was 55 or 65 and why would one try to recall it from memory and not just read it off a sign while driving, we noticed a young girl of about sixteen staring at us blatantly. Considering that we had been in Mississippi for almost a year by then, most of us had internalized strange stares from strangers. But this young one had her eyes filled with a curiosity so intense, you would think she was watching a live re-enactment of a season finale of Lost (I went through 3 bawdy comparisons before settling on this lame one). We tried to ignore her but not before FOB-ishly acknowledging her stares in Hindi amongst ourselves. The staring match (at which she was thrashing us mercilessly) went on for about 5 minutes and I can only imagine that she used this time to muster the courage to say the next words.
"Excuse me, what are you guys?"
The cutting frankness and naivete of her question prompted all of us to burst into laughter and the lady seated a few chairs next to her tried to cover her face in shame (or maybe to avoid being recognized as witness in what she perceived to be a potential lawsuit). The amusement quickly subsided and we answered "Indian". This of course stoked the young one's curiosity even further and she launched into a series of inquiries about us, India, its location, its culture and more, that all three of us answered enthusiastically. She was highly amused that none of us had a license in spite of being in our early twenties. "Just how did you get around during college?" was her concern. I wasn't sure if my lengthy answer detailing the ubiquity of public transport in India satisfied her. She still wore a look of incredulity. Nevertheless she decided to move on to the next lesson in the impromptu 'world cultures' class and asked us about the language we were conversing in before. Having done this many times before, my friend launched into some of the salient aspects of Hindi while pointing out the plethora of other languages in the country. She seemed awed that all three of us knew how to speak our mother tongues apart from the national language, Hindi. And then with a look of genuine confusion she asked,
"But how do you speak to the people in the US?"
After a second of stunned silence, my friend went into a fit of laughter that was intermingled with a loud "What the fuck"! The lady next to the young one promptly joined him. The absurdity of her question when viewed against the 15 minutes of conversation she had had with us took some time to sink into her and understandably she was very embarrassed. As one would expect, she stopped talking to us completely after the incident and avoided any form of eye contact. The rest of our time at the DMV was fairly tame and all us managed to obtain a learner's permit without too much trouble (if I remember right, I had managed to pass by just one question) . We were of course eager to get back and tell the story of the curious and confused girl to all who would listen.
In retrospect, I think it was great that this girl had the very healthy attitude of satisfying her curiosity in a straightforward manner. Hopefully, something as insignificant as being embarrassed before others (and I mean this with utmost sincerity) did not create an aversion to asking questions in her.
So remember kids. Always ask questions but also think a little before doing so. Doesn't hurt. Now go do your homework.
4 years ago during the fall of 2005, I was a bright eyed young lad bristling with FOB-ness amongst fellow FOBs (FOB=Fresh Off the Boat). I had come to the land of the free and home of the brave just a year ago and did not have a driver's license yet. As is the case with every small town in the USA one needs a car to get around and therefore one needs a driver's license to even begin thinking about borrowing a friend's car under the pretext of going out to buy some groceries but surreptitiously taking a girl out which may or may not have ended badly. Yes...yes...that is a story for another day.
So anyway, in order to obtain the aforementioned driving license, two of my buddies and I stayed up all night studying for the test (the written one for the learner's permit and not the driving one for the driver's permit) and went to the local DMV the next morning. As the three of us stood in line trying to remember whether the state highway speed limit in Mississippi was 55 or 65 and why would one try to recall it from memory and not just read it off a sign while driving, we noticed a young girl of about sixteen staring at us blatantly. Considering that we had been in Mississippi for almost a year by then, most of us had internalized strange stares from strangers. But this young one had her eyes filled with a curiosity so intense, you would think she was watching a live re-enactment of a season finale of Lost (I went through 3 bawdy comparisons before settling on this lame one). We tried to ignore her but not before FOB-ishly acknowledging her stares in Hindi amongst ourselves. The staring match (at which she was thrashing us mercilessly) went on for about 5 minutes and I can only imagine that she used this time to muster the courage to say the next words.
"Excuse me, what are you guys?"
The cutting frankness and naivete of her question prompted all of us to burst into laughter and the lady seated a few chairs next to her tried to cover her face in shame (or maybe to avoid being recognized as witness in what she perceived to be a potential lawsuit). The amusement quickly subsided and we answered "Indian". This of course stoked the young one's curiosity even further and she launched into a series of inquiries about us, India, its location, its culture and more, that all three of us answered enthusiastically. She was highly amused that none of us had a license in spite of being in our early twenties. "Just how did you get around during college?" was her concern. I wasn't sure if my lengthy answer detailing the ubiquity of public transport in India satisfied her. She still wore a look of incredulity. Nevertheless she decided to move on to the next lesson in the impromptu 'world cultures' class and asked us about the language we were conversing in before. Having done this many times before, my friend launched into some of the salient aspects of Hindi while pointing out the plethora of other languages in the country. She seemed awed that all three of us knew how to speak our mother tongues apart from the national language, Hindi. And then with a look of genuine confusion she asked,
"But how do you speak to the people in the US?"
After a second of stunned silence, my friend went into a fit of laughter that was intermingled with a loud "What the fuck"! The lady next to the young one promptly joined him. The absurdity of her question when viewed against the 15 minutes of conversation she had had with us took some time to sink into her and understandably she was very embarrassed. As one would expect, she stopped talking to us completely after the incident and avoided any form of eye contact. The rest of our time at the DMV was fairly tame and all us managed to obtain a learner's permit without too much trouble (if I remember right, I had managed to pass by just one question) . We were of course eager to get back and tell the story of the curious and confused girl to all who would listen.
In retrospect, I think it was great that this girl had the very healthy attitude of satisfying her curiosity in a straightforward manner. Hopefully, something as insignificant as being embarrassed before others (and I mean this with utmost sincerity) did not create an aversion to asking questions in her.
So remember kids. Always ask questions but also think a little before doing so. Doesn't hurt. Now go do your homework.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
God to take on the Flying Spaghetti Monster in epic World Wrestling Federation championship match up
In what is being touted as the mother of all fights, defending champion God is said to fight the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM) who stands to challenge him for the title of creator and ruler of the universe at the Mirage hotel in Las Vegas this Saturday. Hailing from the heavens above, God has held the title since time immemorial, successfully defending it from a slew of notable challengers like the Buddha (who defaulted citing reasons of non-violence), Mohammed, the 30 million tag team members of the Hindu Federation and even the Beatles (in a memorial match up that lasted for a decade).
Thanks to popular moves like the “Smiting Finger”, “Eternal Damnation” and the “Banishing Helbow” God’s fan base is much larger than that of the FSM’s which nevertheless has been growing steadily. Some supporters of God believe that FSM is nothing more than a paper-tiger opponent conjured by God-haters who need someone to act as their beacon in the demanding wrestling world. The monsters’ proponents however are dismissive of these skeptics and are confident that they will be able to steal a victory with the help of FSM’s popular moves like the “Punch of Sarcasm” and the “Carb-Overload”.
Like in every other behemoth of an event, the taunts have been pouring in from both sides. In what has been widely regarded as an absolutely atrocious pun, the FSM claimed that he was going to make God ‘omni-pain-tent’! God however did not do much better when he retorted with “that FSM motherfucker ain’t got nothing on me, except some marinara sauce”. Fans on both sides are eagerly waiting to see who wins this epic battle and which side will have to resort to cognitive dissonance.
Sam Etaro
Massive Onion Rip-Off Artist (But Not As Funny)
Thanks to popular moves like the “Smiting Finger”, “Eternal Damnation” and the “Banishing Helbow” God’s fan base is much larger than that of the FSM’s which nevertheless has been growing steadily. Some supporters of God believe that FSM is nothing more than a paper-tiger opponent conjured by God-haters who need someone to act as their beacon in the demanding wrestling world. The monsters’ proponents however are dismissive of these skeptics and are confident that they will be able to steal a victory with the help of FSM’s popular moves like the “Punch of Sarcasm” and the “Carb-Overload”.
Like in every other behemoth of an event, the taunts have been pouring in from both sides. In what has been widely regarded as an absolutely atrocious pun, the FSM claimed that he was going to make God ‘omni-pain-tent’! God however did not do much better when he retorted with “that FSM motherfucker ain’t got nothing on me, except some marinara sauce”. Fans on both sides are eagerly waiting to see who wins this epic battle and which side will have to resort to cognitive dissonance.
Sam Etaro
Massive Onion Rip-Off Artist (But Not As Funny)
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