City of Maya, Maya Area: After a long and acerbic session of bickering the elders have finally agreed on when to end the official calendar. It has been decided that all official Mayan calendars will now end 2000 years from now instead of the previously agreed upon 4000 years. This decision was reached in order to make amends for the severe stone shortage that has been plaguing our land for over a year. Elder Tore-My-ACL says, “We are certain that our great civilization will prosper well after 4000 years. But it is foolish to waste so much stone in etching all the dates for all those years. I mean, when our great grandchildren reach 2012 A.D. they can easily get a fresh set of calendars etched and distributed. I don’t mean to sound like a pig’s testicle but why should we defray the costs of calendar etching for future generations especially during these tough times? Have you checked the price of grain lately? The tax-payers don’t need this right now! No disrespect to elder Can-Bench-200 but he acts as if ending the calendar so soon will make some pale skinned men magically appear from the east and conquer us.”
Elder Can-Bench-200 is of course the leader of the opposition who strongly advocated making the official calendar 4000 years into the future based on the arbitrary claim that the number “4000 was two times more awesome that some whimpy 2000”. At the end of the day common sense prevailed but as a compromise it was agreed that instructions (written on biodegradable papyrus) would be supplied with every calendar telling the slightly naïve citizens not to over interpret the calendar ending at 2012 A.D and how to calculate the dates beyond.
Sam Etaro
Massive(ly Anachronistic) Onion Rip-Off Artist (But Not As Funny)
